Decision made

I have made the decision to stop breastfeeding.  I woke up 2 nights ago with really bad pain again in my left breast and since then I have been so worried that I am going to develop mastitis again.  I saw a Dr yesterday who gave me a nose spray that is supposed to help empty your breasts.  It does not seem to be working.  The problem I have is that neither Eva or Emilia suck really hard and I no longer respond to the pump.  I have really have been fighting a losing battle that is now ending.  My decision feels right and so now I have to find out how to stop the little bit of milk that I do have from clogging up and making me sick again.  Getting ill again is not an option!

We were at the hospital on Monday for check-ups.  Eva is almost 4kg! and Emilia almost 3kg!  Both had put weight on which is great news.  I told the Dr about Emilia's episodes of where she sounds like she is in real pain and she told us of a way we can help her poo.  It seems to be helping.  We also found out that she needs to wear a hip brace  for 6 weeks and when the nurse put it on her I just broke down.  It all just feels never ending for little Emlia.  I have had a day to get used to it and she does not seem to be affected by it and it may even make her feel a bit more secure.  She feels a bit more sturdy too when we hold her.  Changing her nappy is a bit of a pain but as always we just have to suck it up and get on with it.

The good news is that we have been able to dramatically reduce the amount of oxygen Emilia needs :)  There is still hope for a fire on Christmas Day ;) Eva has now been oxygen free for the last few days.

Jens as always is just wonderful (I spent most of the day in tears yesterday and he looked after me) as are his parents who are coming over tonight to help out whilst Jens goes and picks up a sofa bed and we take our cats to the vets.  They are always making food for us and even went shopping for us at the weekend. Mandy is doing the night shift on Saturday too :)  All the help we can get at the moment is appreciated.