Update

We got to the hospital at around 14.00 yesterday.  At 15.00 Jens held Emilia and she got to try the new oxygen thing in her nose (I still don't know the name of it in English!).  At first she was a little bit restless and her oxygen saturation level was quite low so they were going to change her back, but as they were about to do it she went up to 90 and stayed there for 3 hours.  She found a snuggly spot close to Jens' armpit, managed to relax and had a good sleep.

I met up with the psychologist at 16.15, then ate and then at 18.00 I held Eva.  First she lay at my breast and did some exploring for about 30 minutes and then she lay on my chest.  When Jens had put Emilia back he went to watch football, so I was left holding Eva and facing Emilia.  For the whole time Emilia was unable to relax.  When they put her back to bed they changed her over to the cpap machine again which has a mask and pretty big tubes coming from it.  Moving your head from side to side is pretty difficult to do.  Emilia however managed to do it, alone, about 10 times.  When the mask is not in place the machine beeps, plus her saturation kept going up and down (it probably wasn't but when she wriggles around it is difficult to get an accurate reading) causing the other machine to beep.

So all I wanted to do the whole time was go and comfort her and try to calm her down.  The two other babies on our ward also needed quite a lot of help and there were times when I could see that she had moved her head and had to call after the nurse.  It was a horrible experience and I had stomach ache the whole time.  In the end I cut my time short with Eva just so I could hold my hand over her, sing to her and stroke her little head. 

The nurses believed that the reason for her behaving like this was because she had pains in her stomach.  Since she passed the hard poo last Thursday, hardly anything else has come in her bag.  So they got the Dr in to look at her and they decided to give her a stomach x-ray.  As you can imagine, I was freaking out.  The x-ray did not show anything too worrying and just after midnight a surgeon looked at her and squirted water into the opening of her small intestine.  Some poo came out and since then she has passed 2 ml.  The surgeon did not believe there was anything physical stopping her from pooing which is a relief but I am still worried.  When I called for an update at 06.00 they told me that she had been calm in the night. 

So last night was another extremely low point for me and I felt really angry and irritated.  Emilia has had enough, we have had enough.  We are going to spend a lot of time at the hospital today, she is so much calmer and happier when she is being held.