Update

So where do I start?  It has been 5 days since I last wrote anything and so many things have haopened.  For those of you who just want a quick update; the girls are doing really well and hit the 38 week mark today :)  Eva had her eye operation today and it went well.  She came off her respirator in the operating theater and is now back on the nasal cannula with a small amount of oxygen.  Emilia is scheduled to have her intestine re-attached on Friday :)  I nearly burst into tears when our Dr told us the news; we have been hoping for this for so long.  Unfortunately she has been given an emergency operating time so if a more serious case comes in, then the surgery will have to be postponed.  Fingers crossed all goes to plan.

So there are two reasons why I haven't updated the blog; the first is lack of internet at the hospital and the second is that I have had mastitis (mjölkstocking) for the last 4 days.  I had a high fever (it is as bad as having the flu) and extreme pain in both of my breasts, it really is a horrible thing to get! We were also told on Friday that we are now expected to be at the hospital 24/7 and that if we needed to run errands then one of us must be there to care for our babies.  So we knew that the gourmet restaurant experience was going to be our last real night of freedom, so of course I started feeling weird halfway through the dinner with excrutiating pain in my left breast.  We had planned to sleep at the hospital with Eva after the restaurant but I felt so bad that I just couldn't face it.

I called the hospital Saturday morning and was told that our babies needed us even though I was ill and so we went to the hospital.  How we got through the last few days is beyond my comprehension.  Jens had to do everything for all three of us, while I just stepped up for breastfeeding and baby snuggles.  

Unfortunately I am still not producing enough milk to feed Eva and Emilia :(  Everybody tells me not to be stressed about it and that it is most likely stress that caused the mastitis.  I have pumped for the last three months with this as my goal.  When, after Eva has been sucking for 45 minutes she is still showing me she is hungry it is hard not to be stressed.  Plus she is so little that she doesn't have the energy to suck as long as she wants to.  We have been forced to give her formula after her breastfeeding attempts and prioritise Emilia with my breast milk.

So we have just spent our last night at home, just the two of us.  Eva has been given the time she needs to rest after her operation and she willl sleep with us tonight.  I have just had a really good nights sleep and feel like myself again.  Eva is ready to come home, so there is a big chance that on Friday night my little Eva will get to sleep in her own bed for the first time and meet Whiskey.  It is hard for us to imagine her being here, it is hard to comprehend that we have made it this far.

But most of my thoughts are with Emilia, my beautiful little fighter who has been through more in the first 14 weeks of her life than most are faced with in a lifetime.  So everyone get praying, hoping and wishing that Emilia's tough journey has the happy ending it deserves.