Reflections

I am just sitting in my kitchen, eating my porridge with my mind on overdrive as usual!  Jens is sleeping, the cats have been fed and all is peaceful.  I haven't phoned the hospital yet, sometimes I don't want to because I want to avoid that sick feeling if something is wrong.  When we left them yesterday all was well and for the next hour and during my pumping session I want it to stay like that.

I am getting so many words of encouragement from so many different people.  Even my next door neighbours from my childhood are reading it and rooting for us. I think our situation moves Mums in a way I cannot really understand as I have nothing to compare this to.  I don't know what it is like to bring a new baby home or how it feels to breastfeed so it is hard to miss it.  I suppose what I am trying to say is that there are lots of positives in this situation and I suppose people who have had the new baby experience could not comprehend what we are going through.  But like I said, I have nothing to compare this to.

What I do have are two perfectly formed mini babies!  In about 10 weeks they should come home with us and then I will have the new baby experience!  In about 4 weeks they should start breastfeeding, apparently when they start they can only take about 5 sucks and then they fell asleep - bless!  So all of you parents reading I just want you to know that I really am doing ok.  Thank you for all the words of encouragement and I am in awe of all of you who have taken a new born directly home and just got on with it.  Just turning my babies over can make me sweat.

By the time we take Eva and Emilia home we should be pros in the ways of the baby!