They took the last x-ray this morning. When we arrived the surgeon was with Emilia and he inserted 3 different widths of metal rods into the opening. The x-ray had shown that there could be something blocking the opening, but the rods went in no problem and some poo came out. The contrast liquid came into the bag this afternoon. So they are now going to wait and observe. She is getting 2ml of food every six hours and they are going to increase the amount gradually. As it stands at the moment she doesn't need another operation but there is always a possibility that she will need one sometime in the future. Her small intestine looks OK but not really good and they don't need to take any more pictures at the moment so we feel pretty satisfied with the outcome.
Emilia explored my breast for the first time today and she loved it! We gave Eva another bath and she had a lovely time. We left them both with good saturation levels, cosy and tucked up in bed :)
torsdag 29 september 2011
onsdag 28 september 2011
Update
Eva and Emilia had a good afternoon with us today. Jens held Emilia and I held Eva, who had another try at breastfeeding. She is so cute!
They took two more x-rays during the day and another one is scheduled for tomorrow morning, which means no food until then :( Emilia is pooing into her bag and the doctors are happy with how her waste looks. I hope they are just airing on the side of caution to get a clear picture of what is going on inside her. I am praying that it is nothing serious. So far the surgeons have not been concerned about what they have seen. Fingers crossed!
Eva almost weighs 1,8kg and does what she does best every day; eating, sleeping on her belly and pooing! She is still getting help with her breathing on the cpap but sat out on me today with the nasal cannula (thanks Louise!) for 4,5 hours and did really well.
Things are moving in the right direction for our baby girls. Only seven weeks to go, less if we are lucky :)
They took two more x-rays during the day and another one is scheduled for tomorrow morning, which means no food until then :( Emilia is pooing into her bag and the doctors are happy with how her waste looks. I hope they are just airing on the side of caution to get a clear picture of what is going on inside her. I am praying that it is nothing serious. So far the surgeons have not been concerned about what they have seen. Fingers crossed!
Eva almost weighs 1,8kg and does what she does best every day; eating, sleeping on her belly and pooing! She is still getting help with her breathing on the cpap but sat out on me today with the nasal cannula (thanks Louise!) for 4,5 hours and did really well.
Things are moving in the right direction for our baby girls. Only seven weeks to go, less if we are lucky :)
tisdag 27 september 2011
Update
I came home yesterday to a beautiful bunch of flowers waiting for me on the doorstep from The English School. Thank you! I promise that I will bring Emilia and Eva to see you all as soon as I can.
Overall yesterday was a pretty good day. To get a clear picture of what is going on inside Emilia they have done another contrast x-ray, where they put a liquid into her and take a series of x-rays to see its journey into the little bag. She had four x-rays yesterday and will have another one this morning. The surgeons were satisfied with the pictures taken yesterday and we will find out soon enough about the one they take this morning.
Our Dr looked at the x-rays first before consulting with the surgeons and he told us that the pictures didn't look perfect and it was difficult for him to reach a conclusion about them. So that was the bad part of the day that gave us both tummy ache, but the surgeons, who know more, thought they looked OK. It is hard though not to think that more problems are going to arise in the future. But she pooed quite a lot yesterday too which is another good sign.
Eva lay on me for 3 hours and then on Jens for another 3. I held Emilia for 3 hours and it was lovely. When we put her back into bed she was really awake and so I lay my head on her bed and snuggled into her, showering her with kisses.
Overall yesterday was a pretty good day. To get a clear picture of what is going on inside Emilia they have done another contrast x-ray, where they put a liquid into her and take a series of x-rays to see its journey into the little bag. She had four x-rays yesterday and will have another one this morning. The surgeons were satisfied with the pictures taken yesterday and we will find out soon enough about the one they take this morning.
Our Dr looked at the x-rays first before consulting with the surgeons and he told us that the pictures didn't look perfect and it was difficult for him to reach a conclusion about them. So that was the bad part of the day that gave us both tummy ache, but the surgeons, who know more, thought they looked OK. It is hard though not to think that more problems are going to arise in the future. But she pooed quite a lot yesterday too which is another good sign.
Eva lay on me for 3 hours and then on Jens for another 3. I held Emilia for 3 hours and it was lovely. When we put her back into bed she was really awake and so I lay my head on her bed and snuggled into her, showering her with kisses.
måndag 26 september 2011
Update
We got to the hospital at around 14.00 yesterday. At 15.00 Jens held Emilia and she got to try the new oxygen thing in her nose (I still don't know the name of it in English!). At first she was a little bit restless and her oxygen saturation level was quite low so they were going to change her back, but as they were about to do it she went up to 90 and stayed there for 3 hours. She found a snuggly spot close to Jens' armpit, managed to relax and had a good sleep.
I met up with the psychologist at 16.15, then ate and then at 18.00 I held Eva. First she lay at my breast and did some exploring for about 30 minutes and then she lay on my chest. When Jens had put Emilia back he went to watch football, so I was left holding Eva and facing Emilia. For the whole time Emilia was unable to relax. When they put her back to bed they changed her over to the cpap machine again which has a mask and pretty big tubes coming from it. Moving your head from side to side is pretty difficult to do. Emilia however managed to do it, alone, about 10 times. When the mask is not in place the machine beeps, plus her saturation kept going up and down (it probably wasn't but when she wriggles around it is difficult to get an accurate reading) causing the other machine to beep.
So all I wanted to do the whole time was go and comfort her and try to calm her down. The two other babies on our ward also needed quite a lot of help and there were times when I could see that she had moved her head and had to call after the nurse. It was a horrible experience and I had stomach ache the whole time. In the end I cut my time short with Eva just so I could hold my hand over her, sing to her and stroke her little head.
The nurses believed that the reason for her behaving like this was because she had pains in her stomach. Since she passed the hard poo last Thursday, hardly anything else has come in her bag. So they got the Dr in to look at her and they decided to give her a stomach x-ray. As you can imagine, I was freaking out. The x-ray did not show anything too worrying and just after midnight a surgeon looked at her and squirted water into the opening of her small intestine. Some poo came out and since then she has passed 2 ml. The surgeon did not believe there was anything physical stopping her from pooing which is a relief but I am still worried. When I called for an update at 06.00 they told me that she had been calm in the night.
So last night was another extremely low point for me and I felt really angry and irritated. Emilia has had enough, we have had enough. We are going to spend a lot of time at the hospital today, she is so much calmer and happier when she is being held.
I met up with the psychologist at 16.15, then ate and then at 18.00 I held Eva. First she lay at my breast and did some exploring for about 30 minutes and then she lay on my chest. When Jens had put Emilia back he went to watch football, so I was left holding Eva and facing Emilia. For the whole time Emilia was unable to relax. When they put her back to bed they changed her over to the cpap machine again which has a mask and pretty big tubes coming from it. Moving your head from side to side is pretty difficult to do. Emilia however managed to do it, alone, about 10 times. When the mask is not in place the machine beeps, plus her saturation kept going up and down (it probably wasn't but when she wriggles around it is difficult to get an accurate reading) causing the other machine to beep.
So all I wanted to do the whole time was go and comfort her and try to calm her down. The two other babies on our ward also needed quite a lot of help and there were times when I could see that she had moved her head and had to call after the nurse. It was a horrible experience and I had stomach ache the whole time. In the end I cut my time short with Eva just so I could hold my hand over her, sing to her and stroke her little head.
The nurses believed that the reason for her behaving like this was because she had pains in her stomach. Since she passed the hard poo last Thursday, hardly anything else has come in her bag. So they got the Dr in to look at her and they decided to give her a stomach x-ray. As you can imagine, I was freaking out. The x-ray did not show anything too worrying and just after midnight a surgeon looked at her and squirted water into the opening of her small intestine. Some poo came out and since then she has passed 2 ml. The surgeon did not believe there was anything physical stopping her from pooing which is a relief but I am still worried. When I called for an update at 06.00 they told me that she had been calm in the night.
So last night was another extremely low point for me and I felt really angry and irritated. Emilia has had enough, we have had enough. We are going to spend a lot of time at the hospital today, she is so much calmer and happier when she is being held.
söndag 25 september 2011
A cosy evening
I just held Emilia for 4 hours and it was lovely. As the poor little thing is now withdrawing from morphine, she is finding it hard to be calm. But for the first two hours she just rested on me. Then her restlessness came in waves but when I sang to her and stroked her head she calmed down. She even turned her head twice, she really does have some power behind her :)
We gave Eva her third bath tonight too. She got to wear the little plastic thing that gives oxygen to her via her nose and is the next stage after the cpap! (I am not sure what it is called in English) It is the stage they have to take in order to come home. So she was wearing it throughout her bath and then whilst she lay on Jens for three hours after. She handled it really well :) She is back on the cpap machine now though as they want to introduce it gently and not tire her out too much. This really is progress.
We gave Eva her third bath tonight too. She got to wear the little plastic thing that gives oxygen to her via her nose and is the next stage after the cpap! (I am not sure what it is called in English) It is the stage they have to take in order to come home. So she was wearing it throughout her bath and then whilst she lay on Jens for three hours after. She handled it really well :) She is back on the cpap machine now though as they want to introduce it gently and not tire her out too much. This really is progress.
Feeling relaxed
My lovely friends have just left after our sleepover to celebrate Mandy's 30th birthday. Not only did they come with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, Christina had planned all the food and then cooked it all. They are absolute sweethearts who I love dearly. It was nice to have a normal night, drinking red wine and laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. It feels lovely to be alive today.
I have called for 2 updates since leaving the hospital yesterday afternoon, which was very hard to do considering Emilia had just gone back on the cpap machine. She is doing shockingly well, much better than could have been expected. She isn't back with Eva yet. They are going to wait until the needle into her central vein is removed as there is a risk that Eva could pull it out. I really don't think it could happen though as all Eva does is sleep on her tummy. Opening her tiny little eyes is enough of an effort for her! But they know best and good things do come to those who wait.
So we are heading over to the hospital later this afternoon and we are going to give Eva a bath. I really hope that I get to have snuggle time with Emilia.
I have called for 2 updates since leaving the hospital yesterday afternoon, which was very hard to do considering Emilia had just gone back on the cpap machine. She is doing shockingly well, much better than could have been expected. She isn't back with Eva yet. They are going to wait until the needle into her central vein is removed as there is a risk that Eva could pull it out. I really don't think it could happen though as all Eva does is sleep on her tummy. Opening her tiny little eyes is enough of an effort for her! But they know best and good things do come to those who wait.
So we are heading over to the hospital later this afternoon and we are going to give Eva a bath. I really hope that I get to have snuggle time with Emilia.
lördag 24 september 2011
Emilia :)
Could Grandma Lindqvist ask for a better 60th birthday present than her granddaughter Emilia being back on the cpap machine and breathing all by herself with only 35% oxygen.
Things are looking up :)
Things are looking up :)
fredag 23 september 2011
Update
Emilia is still on the mend which is great news. They managed to reduce the pressure on her respirator significantly and it is looking like she will be back on the cpap machine tomorrow and reunited with Eva :) So I should be really happy but just before we left I had a bad experience.
I watched the nurses turn Emilia and she started turning blue and they had to ventilate her. It has been a long time since I have seen this and it is just the worst thing ever to witness. They only needed to do it for about 20 seconds so for them it was nothing serious, but for me it is like a knife is twisting in my heart. My baby has had enough now. The nurses also asked me to change her nappy, I should have said no as I was so scared of hurting her. But I did it anyway and it just took it out of me. As the nurse was sucking the saliva out of her throat, which involves putting a tube down there and makes her wriggle because it is so uncomfortable, she cracked some joke about me cleaning her teeth. As you can imagine I found it hilarious! NOT!
They also told us today that Eva's blood platelets are low and that they have tested her for some kind of virus that can pass from my breast milk to her. Full term babies build up immunity to it in the womb. I cannot remember the name of it and it is not serious but it is something else for us to worry about.
I have a banging headache and feel totally drained. It is now 22.23 and only now do I have the energy to write this, I have been asleep on the sofa since we got back from the hospital. The nurses warned us this would happen, that it would hit us a few days afterwards. Hopefully I am going to feel better tomorrow.
I watched the nurses turn Emilia and she started turning blue and they had to ventilate her. It has been a long time since I have seen this and it is just the worst thing ever to witness. They only needed to do it for about 20 seconds so for them it was nothing serious, but for me it is like a knife is twisting in my heart. My baby has had enough now. The nurses also asked me to change her nappy, I should have said no as I was so scared of hurting her. But I did it anyway and it just took it out of me. As the nurse was sucking the saliva out of her throat, which involves putting a tube down there and makes her wriggle because it is so uncomfortable, she cracked some joke about me cleaning her teeth. As you can imagine I found it hilarious! NOT!
They also told us today that Eva's blood platelets are low and that they have tested her for some kind of virus that can pass from my breast milk to her. Full term babies build up immunity to it in the womb. I cannot remember the name of it and it is not serious but it is something else for us to worry about.
I have a banging headache and feel totally drained. It is now 22.23 and only now do I have the energy to write this, I have been asleep on the sofa since we got back from the hospital. The nurses warned us this would happen, that it would hit us a few days afterwards. Hopefully I am going to feel better tomorrow.
torsdag 22 september 2011
Morning update
Emilia is getting 35% oxygen this morning and the nurse thought she looked better too :)
Bad start, good finish
I called for an update this morning and was told that Emilia had been delicate during the night and was now back on 96% oxygen. Not a nice way to start to the day. She has improved a lot again during the day and when we left she was getting 60%. The Dr thinks that the reason for the change was that she had stomach pains. During the night she passed quite a lot of hard poo into her bag. Today her poo looked like normal milk poo and she has been a lot better. So panic over! Our Dr has told us that he is not worried about what happened.
I breastfed Eva for the first time today :) Well, I didn't really feed her, but she had my nipple in her mouth for about 30 minutes and did a lot of licking and exploring. Afterwards she was so exhausted that she lay on me for about 2 hours and didn't move a muscle! Bless! I loved every second of it, she is so adorable.
We have bought our family car today too! Not sure how we managed to even go and look at it after getting the morning news, but we said that if Emilia had improved when we arrived at the hospital that we would buy it. She had improved so we bought it! It is a Kia Cee'd estate, dark grey, diesel automatic with a leather interior. It even has a tow bar so ticks all of our boxes!
So it has been a day of mixed emotions that has ended on a high note :)
I breastfed Eva for the first time today :) Well, I didn't really feed her, but she had my nipple in her mouth for about 30 minutes and did a lot of licking and exploring. Afterwards she was so exhausted that she lay on me for about 2 hours and didn't move a muscle! Bless! I loved every second of it, she is so adorable.
We have bought our family car today too! Not sure how we managed to even go and look at it after getting the morning news, but we said that if Emilia had improved when we arrived at the hospital that we would buy it. She had improved so we bought it! It is a Kia Cee'd estate, dark grey, diesel automatic with a leather interior. It even has a tow bar so ticks all of our boxes!
So it has been a day of mixed emotions that has ended on a high note :)
onsdag 21 september 2011
55% Oxygen :)
We just left beautiful Emilia with 55% oxygen. She has been super stable all day, it is such a relief :) The Dr is happy with her progress.
Eva has had another good day and they were able to reduce her amount of oxygen too.
Me and Jens should be able to get a good nights sleep tonight and wake up rested for the first time in 5 days. It really has been a lovely way to mark the 32 week mark, we are halfway there!
Eva has had another good day and they were able to reduce her amount of oxygen too.
Me and Jens should be able to get a good nights sleep tonight and wake up rested for the first time in 5 days. It really has been a lovely way to mark the 32 week mark, we are halfway there!
Update
I called for an update when I woke up at 07.30 and nothing had changed. At one point during the night they were able to bring her oxygen down to 88% but now she is back up to 96%. They also changed the settings on her respirator but she reacted badly to that so they had to change them back. She was about to get a blood transfusion and some medicine to help her urinate more.
I feel completely exhausted today. I managed to go back to sleep after ringing them and now I am forcing some porridge down. As soon as I am showered and ready we are going to spend the afternoon at the hospital and we are meeting with the psychologist at 16.00. Jens' Mum and Dad are coming to see the twins tonight and then we are all coming back here for dinner. I have asked them to take everything "twin related" to their apartment until we need it. Not because I don't think she is going to make it, because I do. It is just hard seeing the worlds nicest pram waving at me during this really tough time. There is an old wives tale too that says it is bad luck to keep a pram in your house until your baby comes home. Like I said before, I am prepared to do anything to make sure my daughter survives.
I feel completely exhausted today. I managed to go back to sleep after ringing them and now I am forcing some porridge down. As soon as I am showered and ready we are going to spend the afternoon at the hospital and we are meeting with the psychologist at 16.00. Jens' Mum and Dad are coming to see the twins tonight and then we are all coming back here for dinner. I have asked them to take everything "twin related" to their apartment until we need it. Not because I don't think she is going to make it, because I do. It is just hard seeing the worlds nicest pram waving at me during this really tough time. There is an old wives tale too that says it is bad luck to keep a pram in your house until your baby comes home. Like I said before, I am prepared to do anything to make sure my daughter survives.
tisdag 20 september 2011
A better day :)
It is looking like Emilia is going to pull through. She has been stable all day and her lungs have started to improve. The Dr who was a little bit doubtful yesterday now thinks she has a good chance of making it. The relief we are feeling is immense, but at the same time we know it could change.
Her spirit is so strong, she wants to live!
We gave Eva her second bath today and she loved it! I did it all by myself and felt pretty confident. Then she got cuddles from Jens, they are so cute together. She is now over 1,5 kg :)
Her spirit is so strong, she wants to live!
We gave Eva her second bath today and she loved it! I did it all by myself and felt pretty confident. Then she got cuddles from Jens, they are so cute together. She is now over 1,5 kg :)
måndag 19 september 2011
Update
Emilia is still critically ill but stable. There isn't much change from before except for that the amount of infection in her blood has reduced. She is still getting 100% oxygen and is very fragile. I spent some time tonight talking to her and holding and kissing her little hand. She is so lovely.
Jens held Eva for about two hours. Then we changed her nappy and usually when she lies on her back she has trouble saturating her blood with oxygen. But tonight she was loving it and handled it really well! She spent about 10 minutes kicking out her little legs and stretching her arms whilst me and Jens talked to her and gave her cuddles. It was a really special time.
So now we are back at home. We got a candle after we christened Emilia and we are going to light it tonight and send her lots of positive energy and all of our love.
Jens held Eva for about two hours. Then we changed her nappy and usually when she lies on her back she has trouble saturating her blood with oxygen. But tonight she was loving it and handled it really well! She spent about 10 minutes kicking out her little legs and stretching her arms whilst me and Jens talked to her and gave her cuddles. It was a really special time.
So now we are back at home. We got a candle after we christened Emilia and we are going to light it tonight and send her lots of positive energy and all of our love.
Home
We both feel completely exhausted so have decided to spend the day resting at home. Emilia just needs to rest now. We are meeting the psychologist at 16.00 and after that we will give Eva a bath and hold her for a few hours. Monday morning is not the best time to be there as there is a hive of activity and it is hard to not feel like we are in the way. Should she start to decline again then they will ring us straight away.
I think we were able to sleep so well because the Dr who looked after the twins in the beginning was working last night. She took us straight to Emilia, took her little cover off and started telling us her medical opinions. Emilia was and is very swollen, which is normal and to be expected. She was also very awake so the Dr doubled her amount of morphine so she would be able to relax more. Then she ordered a high concentration of blood platelets. She told us that she thought Emilia was going to survive the infection. Her whole body, from the end of her toes to the tips of her fingers was pink, showing that her blood has managed to circulate despite the assault the infection had taken on her body. What she has and is suffering from is the worst kind of infection that can affect premature and full term babies.
The good news is that she is responding to the urine medicine and is urinating a good amount. She needs to do this to get rid of all the excess water in her body and bring down the swelling. Her infection count had also come down. She is managing to keep her blood pressure and pulse at the right levels. She is still in a critical phase of the infection and the Dr this morning told us that she is going to be ill for at least another 24 hours before we see more improvements. We are still in the danger zone but light can be seen at the end of the tunnel. Me and Jens are clinging onto that.
When we left her she was about to get some sleeping medicine as she is finding it difficult to relax and sleep. Throughout this whole episode she has looked like a beautiful little doll, her face is so perfect, she is so perfect. It has been difficult to really see her features when she was on the cpap machine. Even when she was really bad she was still opening her eyes and holding our fingers, Emilia Cajsa Lindqvist is still very much at large and has a strong will to live. Thank you to everyone who is rooting for her, I am sure it all helps.
So, this has easily been the worst weekend of our lives. I never knew I could feel so sad and helpless or like the world was so unjust. It is just so hard to make any sense of it. Everybody reading this knows that me and Jens are not religious people and being faced with the question about christening our daughter was something we were both unprepared for. At this time she was getting 100% oxygen and her oxygen saturation was around 70%, it should be between 88% and 92%. We knew that if she started to dip that there was nothing more they could do for her. So we decided to go ahead with it, at that point I would have done anything. We were both praying and I have promised God that I will go to church once a month if she survives and that I will give the whole religion thing a chance. The service was super short and at the end of it she fully opened both of her eyes (before she had only opened them slightly) and then her saturation went up to 87%, the highest it had been all day. It was a wonderful experience. Since then, things have only improved. It was really comforting to have Jens' Mum and Dad with us and I know it made them feel a lot better too.
So now we are back to waiting, hoping and praying. Hopefully it is just a matter of time until we are back under the rainbow.
I think we were able to sleep so well because the Dr who looked after the twins in the beginning was working last night. She took us straight to Emilia, took her little cover off and started telling us her medical opinions. Emilia was and is very swollen, which is normal and to be expected. She was also very awake so the Dr doubled her amount of morphine so she would be able to relax more. Then she ordered a high concentration of blood platelets. She told us that she thought Emilia was going to survive the infection. Her whole body, from the end of her toes to the tips of her fingers was pink, showing that her blood has managed to circulate despite the assault the infection had taken on her body. What she has and is suffering from is the worst kind of infection that can affect premature and full term babies.
The good news is that she is responding to the urine medicine and is urinating a good amount. She needs to do this to get rid of all the excess water in her body and bring down the swelling. Her infection count had also come down. She is managing to keep her blood pressure and pulse at the right levels. She is still in a critical phase of the infection and the Dr this morning told us that she is going to be ill for at least another 24 hours before we see more improvements. We are still in the danger zone but light can be seen at the end of the tunnel. Me and Jens are clinging onto that.
When we left her she was about to get some sleeping medicine as she is finding it difficult to relax and sleep. Throughout this whole episode she has looked like a beautiful little doll, her face is so perfect, she is so perfect. It has been difficult to really see her features when she was on the cpap machine. Even when she was really bad she was still opening her eyes and holding our fingers, Emilia Cajsa Lindqvist is still very much at large and has a strong will to live. Thank you to everyone who is rooting for her, I am sure it all helps.
So, this has easily been the worst weekend of our lives. I never knew I could feel so sad and helpless or like the world was so unjust. It is just so hard to make any sense of it. Everybody reading this knows that me and Jens are not religious people and being faced with the question about christening our daughter was something we were both unprepared for. At this time she was getting 100% oxygen and her oxygen saturation was around 70%, it should be between 88% and 92%. We knew that if she started to dip that there was nothing more they could do for her. So we decided to go ahead with it, at that point I would have done anything. We were both praying and I have promised God that I will go to church once a month if she survives and that I will give the whole religion thing a chance. The service was super short and at the end of it she fully opened both of her eyes (before she had only opened them slightly) and then her saturation went up to 87%, the highest it had been all day. It was a wonderful experience. Since then, things have only improved. It was really comforting to have Jens' Mum and Dad with us and I know it made them feel a lot better too.
So now we are back to waiting, hoping and praying. Hopefully it is just a matter of time until we are back under the rainbow.
söndag 18 september 2011
Update
Emilia has shown signs of improvement overnight and is responding to treatment. We have both managed to get some sleep at the hospital overnight and will spend the day with both of our babies.
Eva is doing well.
Eva is doing well.
Critically stable
Emilia is critically stable. She has started to improve slightly, but the odds are stacked against her. We had her christened at 15.30 this afternoon. It was a lovely little service.
We are going to sleep at the hospital tonight.
We are going to sleep at the hospital tonight.
lördag 17 september 2011
fredag 16 september 2011
Critical
Emilia is critically ill. She has developed an infection in her blood, it started yesterday lunchtime. The staff were quick to respond and got her on antibiotics straight away. She became stable quickly, but in the night she has taken a turn for the worse again. We are going to the hospital now with dreads in our stomachs.
Eva is still doing really well.
Eva is still doing really well.
torsdag 15 september 2011
Eva :)
Today we were greeted by a cpap machine showing only 35% oxygen for Eva and 22% for Emilia. We both couldn't stop grinning as these are vast reductions compared to what they have been having before, especially for baby Eva :) She really has been a different baby today, she has been herself :). Really awake and smiley and managed to keep her oxygen saturation constant all day.
On Monday we were supposed to give her a bath, but the nurses felt that she was too delicate. But today we gave her one and she was a little trooper. She loved it and so did we :) Her eyes were open the whole time, it was so special.
She has been quite swollen because she has been retaining water. So she was given medicine to make her wee and they think that is the reason for the vast improvement. She wasn't swollen at all today and just looked really rosy, cute and content.
I have been a mess emotionally today. I just cannot stop crying, I suppose it is the relief. Emilia is still having poo issues but the Dr doesn't think it is anything serious, just that they need to find the right balance. But she looks great too, really awake, rosy cheeked and smiley. If there was something seriously wrong then she would be showing signs of that.
So, I am now going to get ready for bed and watch Grey's Anatomy and get all of these tears out of me. I really am a mess and hate crying in public which I did about 3 times today! But I am so happy and even though this has been the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with, in a weird way it is the best because I have seen my babies grow. You have to go through rain to see a rainbow and it is safe to say that me, Jens, Emilia and Eva will be sleeping under one tonight :)
On Monday we were supposed to give her a bath, but the nurses felt that she was too delicate. But today we gave her one and she was a little trooper. She loved it and so did we :) Her eyes were open the whole time, it was so special.
She has been quite swollen because she has been retaining water. So she was given medicine to make her wee and they think that is the reason for the vast improvement. She wasn't swollen at all today and just looked really rosy, cute and content.
I have been a mess emotionally today. I just cannot stop crying, I suppose it is the relief. Emilia is still having poo issues but the Dr doesn't think it is anything serious, just that they need to find the right balance. But she looks great too, really awake, rosy cheeked and smiley. If there was something seriously wrong then she would be showing signs of that.
So, I am now going to get ready for bed and watch Grey's Anatomy and get all of these tears out of me. I really am a mess and hate crying in public which I did about 3 times today! But I am so happy and even though this has been the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with, in a weird way it is the best because I have seen my babies grow. You have to go through rain to see a rainbow and it is safe to say that me, Jens, Emilia and Eva will be sleeping under one tonight :)
onsdag 14 september 2011
Update
In general, Eva and Emilia are doing well. Eva still has a lot more oxygen than Emilia and both of them are still having pretty regular dips.
There is too much poo coming into Emilia's bag and it is really watery which is not a good sign. It could mean that there is bacteria in her intestine so they have taken samples that they will leave to grow for a few days. They tested her for an infection and that came back negative. I have got a bit of a bad feeling about this but hopefully it will sort itself out. The hospital are fully investigating so, as usual, all we can do is wait and see.
They seem to be enjoying being in the little bed together and are so so so cute!
There is too much poo coming into Emilia's bag and it is really watery which is not a good sign. It could mean that there is bacteria in her intestine so they have taken samples that they will leave to grow for a few days. They tested her for an infection and that came back negative. I have got a bit of a bad feeling about this but hopefully it will sort itself out. The hospital are fully investigating so, as usual, all we can do is wait and see.
They seem to be enjoying being in the little bed together and are so so so cute!
tisdag 13 september 2011
A miracle
Just a quick note to say that the girls are still doing really well.
They are my miracles :)
They are my miracles :)
söndag 11 september 2011
Held them together
Me and Jens have had a day apart today. His day started with going to the hospital and taking Eva and Emilia out at the same time, all went really well. Eva was a little bit up and down but each time she managed to fix it herself. Emilia was really awake and cheesy grinning her little head off! Bless. Then he tried our pram in Martin's Kia Ceed (we maybe getting one), then he watched and played football.
My day started by dropping Jens off at the hospital and nipping in for a quick peek at my little angels! Then I met Wanja and we went mushroom picking. Unfortunately someone had already cleaned up on the kantareller (we saw evidence of human activity) but we found lots and lots of trattkantareller so it was a successful day. Maria, I have broken our secrecy code but Wanja has promised to never go there without us and to take the knowledge to the grave! The mushrooms were still on the rocky ledge, same as last year, and I dove straight in there again :)
Then I went to see my babies and also held them both together. They were super calm and super cute and I got lots of smiles from Emilia too. I was singing to them really softly and they seemed to like it.
My day started by dropping Jens off at the hospital and nipping in for a quick peek at my little angels! Then I met Wanja and we went mushroom picking. Unfortunately someone had already cleaned up on the kantareller (we saw evidence of human activity) but we found lots and lots of trattkantareller so it was a successful day. Maria, I have broken our secrecy code but Wanja has promised to never go there without us and to take the knowledge to the grave! The mushrooms were still on the rocky ledge, same as last year, and I dove straight in there again :)
Then I went to see my babies and also held them both together. They were super calm and super cute and I got lots of smiles from Emilia too. I was singing to them really softly and they seemed to like it.
lördag 10 september 2011
There were two in the bed and the little one said.....
ROLL OVER!
Emilia and Eva have been put in a bed together :) They were touching each others hands and looking at each other. At one point Emilia had her hand in Eva's little mouth. It was so amazing to see. Eva was too hot for her incubator so they decided that this was the best option. I was sad to see the wizard dress go (I half expected her to be flying around the ward today casting spells on people-I think I have been watching too much True Blood) but thrilled to see them in their little 1,4 kg clothes from England!
I gave Emilia her first bath today too and she loved it! She is a real water baby. We got to see her without her breathing machine and she just had a little mask with oxygen that needed to be close to her face. I felt a bit nervous but at the same time everything I do for them feels really natural. The nurse who helped me and showed me what to do was amazing.
So another really good day :)
Emilia and Eva have been put in a bed together :) They were touching each others hands and looking at each other. At one point Emilia had her hand in Eva's little mouth. It was so amazing to see. Eva was too hot for her incubator so they decided that this was the best option. I was sad to see the wizard dress go (I half expected her to be flying around the ward today casting spells on people-I think I have been watching too much True Blood) but thrilled to see them in their little 1,4 kg clothes from England!
I gave Emilia her first bath today too and she loved it! She is a real water baby. We got to see her without her breathing machine and she just had a little mask with oxygen that needed to be close to her face. I felt a bit nervous but at the same time everything I do for them feels really natural. The nurse who helped me and showed me what to do was amazing.
So another really good day :)
fredag 9 september 2011
Emilia is sleeping in a bed!
What an amazing day we have had filled with lovely surprises.
Our talk with the Dr went well and he went through everything that has happened to them. It really is a miracle that both of their brains are unaffected by the premature birth and that there was only a small amount of blood on Emilia's brain that disappeared by itself. Emilia's intestine operation was a success and both girls are doing much better in that department. Emilia and Eva both have some problems with their lungs and Eva seems to be suffering the most. The Dr thought it may be because her ductus valve was open for as long as it was and that she was on the respirator for quite a long time. Whatever the reason she is only going to improve in the future and she may surprise everyone and make a full recovery (fingers crossed for that).
So we got to see our girls' incubators positioned in the new part of the ward and it felt much more private. I couldn't take out Emilia straight away as she got a blood transfusion (they had taken blood to test so they replenish it) but Jens held Eva for the first part of the afternoon. First the plan was to lie them both together on Jens' chest. Unfortunately Eva was too unstable to do it so we will have to wait a few more days. Then, just as I was about to take Emilia out we got told that she was moving into a heated waterbed (very sophisticated!).
So after I had held her for 3 hours I put her into her waterbed. As I was completely unaware that this was to be happening, all the lovely little clothes (bought lovingly by the Grandmas) were at home, so I got to choose a little dress from the hospital. It was like a kimono style wizards dress, very very cute! A bit random and bizarre but very cute. When we saw Emilia wearing it I couldn't stop giggling and looking at her, we were both in a trance. It was the cutest most amazing thing I have seen in my life to date.
I have dressed my daughter for the first time :)
I had to describe the little dress first before I write about the funny, typical me thing that happened just before. I had to change her nappy and her bag was full. So as the Nurse went to get the things I needed I thought I would let her wriggle around nappy free for a while. Jens was on the other side and Emilia was having a great time on her new bed, when the bag unraveled and the contents gushed out onto the side of the bed. This literally happened minutes after she landed! Luckily the waterbed has towels rolled up on the sides to support Emilia when she sleeps and the poo ran onto that. A very lucky escape!
After 10 hours at the hospital we are now at home and have just shared a pizza. It feels amazing how far we have come in one day. Eva is still doing well and will be staying in her lovely, soundproof incubator for a little while longer. Before we know it I will be writing about her joining Emilia in a bed made for twins!
Could this be the calm before the storm for baby Eva?
Our talk with the Dr went well and he went through everything that has happened to them. It really is a miracle that both of their brains are unaffected by the premature birth and that there was only a small amount of blood on Emilia's brain that disappeared by itself. Emilia's intestine operation was a success and both girls are doing much better in that department. Emilia and Eva both have some problems with their lungs and Eva seems to be suffering the most. The Dr thought it may be because her ductus valve was open for as long as it was and that she was on the respirator for quite a long time. Whatever the reason she is only going to improve in the future and she may surprise everyone and make a full recovery (fingers crossed for that).
So we got to see our girls' incubators positioned in the new part of the ward and it felt much more private. I couldn't take out Emilia straight away as she got a blood transfusion (they had taken blood to test so they replenish it) but Jens held Eva for the first part of the afternoon. First the plan was to lie them both together on Jens' chest. Unfortunately Eva was too unstable to do it so we will have to wait a few more days. Then, just as I was about to take Emilia out we got told that she was moving into a heated waterbed (very sophisticated!).
So after I had held her for 3 hours I put her into her waterbed. As I was completely unaware that this was to be happening, all the lovely little clothes (bought lovingly by the Grandmas) were at home, so I got to choose a little dress from the hospital. It was like a kimono style wizards dress, very very cute! A bit random and bizarre but very cute. When we saw Emilia wearing it I couldn't stop giggling and looking at her, we were both in a trance. It was the cutest most amazing thing I have seen in my life to date.
I have dressed my daughter for the first time :)
I had to describe the little dress first before I write about the funny, typical me thing that happened just before. I had to change her nappy and her bag was full. So as the Nurse went to get the things I needed I thought I would let her wriggle around nappy free for a while. Jens was on the other side and Emilia was having a great time on her new bed, when the bag unraveled and the contents gushed out onto the side of the bed. This literally happened minutes after she landed! Luckily the waterbed has towels rolled up on the sides to support Emilia when she sleeps and the poo ran onto that. A very lucky escape!
After 10 hours at the hospital we are now at home and have just shared a pizza. It feels amazing how far we have come in one day. Eva is still doing well and will be staying in her lovely, soundproof incubator for a little while longer. Before we know it I will be writing about her joining Emilia in a bed made for twins!
Could this be the calm before the storm for baby Eva?
torsdag 8 september 2011
Prime position a thing of the past :)
Last night Eva and Emilia were moved from the prime position on the ward, leaving space for babies in need of more intensive care. So we will have the left hand side (2 corners) all to ourselves. At the moment there is only one other baby in our room and they are a really lovely family who like it to be quiet. They have just moved into the right hand corner. Eva is very sensitive to noise and so it is perfect that we are more spread out. This really does feel like progress!
I held Eva yesterday and Jens held Emilia. There was still some plinging but nowhere near as much. Emilia almost turned her head all by herself as well and dislodged her feeding tube which the nurse then had to pull out. Both babies are now free of all drips. Eva gets 24ml of food and Emilia 20ml followed by a solution that replaces the nutrients that she loses as her food doesn't travel the full length of her intestine. They should be little fatties in no time.
We are meeting with the Dr today at 11.00. I am going to ask for more specific information about Eva's lungs and try and find out when they can go into a bed together.
So the sun is shining today and I feel really great :) Wanja got me and her brother tickets to the opera Salome last night (easily the weirdest thing I have ever seen, worth a watch though - not sure Jens appreciated my opera singing when I got home). It is the first time I have ventured into the city since the birth and it felt good. I bought the girls a pair of comfy pants each, the first thing I have bought! As soon as they go into the bed they can start wearing clothes. My Mum has bought them 1,4kg clothes and they are so so so cute.
I held Eva yesterday and Jens held Emilia. There was still some plinging but nowhere near as much. Emilia almost turned her head all by herself as well and dislodged her feeding tube which the nurse then had to pull out. Both babies are now free of all drips. Eva gets 24ml of food and Emilia 20ml followed by a solution that replaces the nutrients that she loses as her food doesn't travel the full length of her intestine. They should be little fatties in no time.
We are meeting with the Dr today at 11.00. I am going to ask for more specific information about Eva's lungs and try and find out when they can go into a bed together.
So the sun is shining today and I feel really great :) Wanja got me and her brother tickets to the opera Salome last night (easily the weirdest thing I have ever seen, worth a watch though - not sure Jens appreciated my opera singing when I got home). It is the first time I have ventured into the city since the birth and it felt good. I bought the girls a pair of comfy pants each, the first thing I have bought! As soon as they go into the bed they can start wearing clothes. My Mum has bought them 1,4kg clothes and they are so so so cute.
onsdag 7 september 2011
6 weeks today!
So our baby girls are now in pregnancy week 30! We have made it through the first 6 weeks, 10 to go..... Whilst we are very happy that all is going in the right direction this is definitely a very long marathon and not a sprint.
In general they are still doing well. Both of them are still really and up and down with their oxygen saturation levels and Eva's lung x-ray still showed water on her lungs. The Dr told us that he had expected them to look better than they do :( It is looking like she may need oxygen when she comes home and could be affected during her life. Permanent problems because of the early birth are really difficult for me to deal with. We are sitting down with the Dr on Friday morning and then we will get more information.
We went to Ikea today to look at baby things and a few more bits and pieces that we needed. I got a migraine after about 30 minutes and I couldn't see properly. Jens had to bring me home and put me to bed. After a sleep I was OK (I still have a headache) and then we went to the hospital. It really is one thing after another. I am glad though that I got to see them, it made me feel a lot better.
In general they are still doing well. Both of them are still really and up and down with their oxygen saturation levels and Eva's lung x-ray still showed water on her lungs. The Dr told us that he had expected them to look better than they do :( It is looking like she may need oxygen when she comes home and could be affected during her life. Permanent problems because of the early birth are really difficult for me to deal with. We are sitting down with the Dr on Friday morning and then we will get more information.
We went to Ikea today to look at baby things and a few more bits and pieces that we needed. I got a migraine after about 30 minutes and I couldn't see properly. Jens had to bring me home and put me to bed. After a sleep I was OK (I still have a headache) and then we went to the hospital. It really is one thing after another. I am glad though that I got to see them, it made me feel a lot better.
måndag 5 september 2011
Update
As of yesterday Emilia weighed 1030g and Eva 1070g meaning that they have doubled in weight since being born. How cool is that! My super pumped breast milk is doing the job well.
We took them out again and while there were no major incidents their oxygen saturation levels were up and down the whole time, which makes the monitors bleep the whole time, which puts me on guard the whole time :( It really is impossible to relax. I ask constant questions, usually ones the Nurses cannot answer like "How long is this going to last?" and "Is it normal for this to be happening" and they cannot answer how long but assured me it is normal. Our Dr said to us yesterday that they are doing OK but are not perfect.
Anyways, if I have not updated the blog then just assume that this phase of beeping is continuing (no news is good news). Lets hope it is over soon and then they will get to go in a little bed together, a sight we cannot wait to see!
We took them out again and while there were no major incidents their oxygen saturation levels were up and down the whole time, which makes the monitors bleep the whole time, which puts me on guard the whole time :( It really is impossible to relax. I ask constant questions, usually ones the Nurses cannot answer like "How long is this going to last?" and "Is it normal for this to be happening" and they cannot answer how long but assured me it is normal. Our Dr said to us yesterday that they are doing OK but are not perfect.
Anyways, if I have not updated the blog then just assume that this phase of beeping is continuing (no news is good news). Lets hope it is over soon and then they will get to go in a little bed together, a sight we cannot wait to see!
söndag 4 september 2011
Good day again!
Yet another day with only good news, what is going on?? Those chickens are still not being counted but I really cannot help but smile :) I held Emilia and Jens held Eva for most of the afternoon. They had a bit of a monitor beeping party (as always) but nothing serious at all and each time they had a bit of a dip they fixed it themselves - PROGRESS! Hooray.
The amount of food Emilia is getting has been increased and Eva is now eating every 3 hours (21ml!!!) instead of every 2 (luckily I have enough milk frozen to feed the whole neonatal ward for the rest of the year so supply can easily meet demand). Eva is totally free of drips and as soon as Emilia is getting the correct amount of food then she will join her younger sister.
We have come home to a lovely surprise from Pontus and Zandra who have left us the most beautiful box of food filled with fresh fruit, forest mushrooms, homemade cordial, fresh bread, other delights and even a story book for the girls. It really did bring a tear to my eye. We have such lovely, kind friends and family who help us so much - thank you!
Jens' Mum and Dad picked up the best pram in the world ever and brought it round this morning. So I have been having a play with it, I love it so much and cannot wait to see my baby girls in it (thanks Mum and Dad). I have also started fixing up the twin's bedroom and got a second hand sofa today that looks perfect and will enable me to feed both babies at once! Everything seems to be coming together.
The amount of food Emilia is getting has been increased and Eva is now eating every 3 hours (21ml!!!) instead of every 2 (luckily I have enough milk frozen to feed the whole neonatal ward for the rest of the year so supply can easily meet demand). Eva is totally free of drips and as soon as Emilia is getting the correct amount of food then she will join her younger sister.
We have come home to a lovely surprise from Pontus and Zandra who have left us the most beautiful box of food filled with fresh fruit, forest mushrooms, homemade cordial, fresh bread, other delights and even a story book for the girls. It really did bring a tear to my eye. We have such lovely, kind friends and family who help us so much - thank you!
Jens' Mum and Dad picked up the best pram in the world ever and brought it round this morning. So I have been having a play with it, I love it so much and cannot wait to see my baby girls in it (thanks Mum and Dad). I have also started fixing up the twin's bedroom and got a second hand sofa today that looks perfect and will enable me to feed both babies at once! Everything seems to be coming together.
lördag 3 september 2011
Update
Not much to report. We have had a really calm day at the hospital and Emilia and Eva are feeling good.
They are still monitoring Emilia and think that her small intestine is working too slowly. But they are not worried about it, hopefully it is nothing serious.
They are still monitoring Emilia and think that her small intestine is working too slowly. But they are not worried about it, hopefully it is nothing serious.
fredag 2 september 2011
Update
We have had a pretty exhausting day. It started really good, we were shown how to change Emilia's bag and she had pooed a lot! Which was great to see. They are going to take one more x-ray but I don't think we have anything to be worried about. So all is well with Emilia. I had her out for about 3.5 hours and she was super calm the whole time, a little treasure!
Eva sat on Jens but she was really wriggly and her monitor kept bleeping all the time, which meant the nurses kept having to increase the amount of oxygen she was getting (not good!). She looked really pale too :( The lovely American nurse (who loves speaking English with me!) got the Dr to come and look at her. They decided to test for everything straight away so we are waiting for the results to come back. As soon as we put her back in the incubator she was fine again. The nurse told me that sometimes this can happen for no explainable reason, but they have covered all the bases and taken tests which feels reassuring.
It is hard to explain the feeling when there is constant beeping. I feel completely exhausted (but not tired) and am going to go and relax in the bath where I won't be able to hear the sound of the football game that Jens is watching. I am also going to eat chocolate and crisps and drink a big glass of fanta (I would love a big glass of wine!).
Eva sat on Jens but she was really wriggly and her monitor kept bleeping all the time, which meant the nurses kept having to increase the amount of oxygen she was getting (not good!). She looked really pale too :( The lovely American nurse (who loves speaking English with me!) got the Dr to come and look at her. They decided to test for everything straight away so we are waiting for the results to come back. As soon as we put her back in the incubator she was fine again. The nurse told me that sometimes this can happen for no explainable reason, but they have covered all the bases and taken tests which feels reassuring.
It is hard to explain the feeling when there is constant beeping. I feel completely exhausted (but not tired) and am going to go and relax in the bath where I won't be able to hear the sound of the football game that Jens is watching. I am also going to eat chocolate and crisps and drink a big glass of fanta (I would love a big glass of wine!).
torsdag 1 september 2011
Update
Everything is looking ok, but not great. They are still concerned about the amount of poo in the bag and so have used the contrast solution again and taken a series av x-rays. We are still waiting to find out the results. Her tummy still looks soft and she looks well. The Nurses are really pleased with her (as are we, but we always are!!!).
Eva is doing well on the cpap and I got to hold her today. She was a little bit wriggly which I think was gas! They tested her for an infection and she was showing early signs of one :( Lets hope it doesn't turn out to be something serious.
We decided which pram we are getting today and are picking it up tomorrow! Eva and Emilia will be pushed around in style thanks to Grandma and Grandad Brown :)
Eva is doing well on the cpap and I got to hold her today. She was a little bit wriggly which I think was gas! They tested her for an infection and she was showing early signs of one :( Lets hope it doesn't turn out to be something serious.
We decided which pram we are getting today and are picking it up tomorrow! Eva and Emilia will be pushed around in style thanks to Grandma and Grandad Brown :)
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