Changed again

So I think I have afternoon nap sorted and then Eva refuses to sleep in my arms.  Eva refuses to go to sleep in her bed and should anyone hear the heart wrenching cries you would understand that leaving her to cry it out is not an option.  The pram is the only option, but then Emilia sleeps better in her bed, so now I have to have the monitor in the window (it flashes blue when there is sound) and walk up and down outside the window for about 10 minutes until Eva goes to sleep, keeping my eye on the monitor.  Then I bring the pram into the hall and have to be quiet until she wakes up.  It is all quite comical really but I don't know what else to do.  Eva's will is so strong but she is helpless to the calming effects of the pram :)  I really hope this is just a phase that will pass.

We bought the twins some crayons.  All they wanted to do was eat them, but it was fun anyway and we got a scribble out of Eva that is now on the fridge :)

A beautiful morning.  Eva is holding onto "Monkey" her new best friend.  Grandma Brown got Eva attached to Monkey over Christmas.  Even though we have issues with daytime sleeps, we are convinced that Monkey comforts Eva in the night and helps her go back to sleep.  She carries him around by the tail and gives him cuddles.  It is very sweet.

Love you Pappa:

Homemade rice porridge (rice pudding) for breakfast on Sunday morning.  DELICIOUS:

Our story

We had a Dr's check up at the hospital a couple of weeks ago.  It has been on our to do list to make a picture showing "our story" to go up on the wall of the neonatal department.  We finally got around to making it and donating it.  Hopefully it will give hope to all the families going through the same ordeal. We spent a lot of our time reading other peoples' stories.

Here are a few pictures of it:

The Dr's appointment went well and she was, as always, super happy with the progress of the twins.  

Whiskey

We found a new home for Whiskey.  Each time I thought about spring I was filled with dread about all the animals Whiskey would be bringing home, so I put an advert out last week and she was picked up on Sunday.  She has gone to a lovely family and it was clear that they adored her.  It feels really weird her not being here but I know I have done the right thing.  So Eva, I am sorry that we couldn't keep your cat but I am sure Emilia won't mind sharing Guinness (who is big enough for both of them).

The twins are doing great.  Emilia has now taken 4 steps in a row, she is very wobbly :)  But she thinks it is great fun and I think her belly laughing and squeals of joy are stopping her from perfecting the art.  Eva is still very hesitant, she takes the occasional step but something is holding her back.  I am being showered with kisses and cuddles daily though, so who cares!!! They will walk when they are ready :)

My girls are ADORABLE!

Here are some pictures from Sunday.  We played out with the new sledges on the fields behind our house.  Whiskey was with us for the last time.

Goodbye little Whiskey, I am so sorry we couldn't keep you.

Swedish Christmas

We celebrated Christmas with Farmor and Farfar last Saturday, swedish style!  The girls got a sledge each that they sat in for about 15 minutes, without being strapped in (sweethearts!).  It was a nice relaxing afternoon that everybody enjoyed!  Here are a few piccies :)

Christmas cheer

Well, what a week we have had!  Me and Jens started to feel better the day before we left for England but the girls were still suffering from diarrhoea and not eating properly.  But we decided to risk the journey anyway.  I hardly slept as I was so nervous but as always, my girls never cease to surprise and amaze me and we had a fantastic, fun flight to England, via Dusseldorf (with no dirty nappies).

We had a three hour wait and so found a delicious Italian restaurant where the girls polished off a kiddies spag bol and me and Jens enjoyed the first meal since getting sick.

The virus we had was a horrible one, but we were convinced we were no longer contagious.

36 hours after arriving Grandma Brown was sick, then day by day the exact same virus played out before our eyes. We had planned a traditional Swedish Christmas Eve, which was super fun but poor Grandma spent most of it sleeping on the sofa; with intervals of waking up to see her little Gingerbread girl Eva and Santa Emilia.  They were adorable.

Grandad Brown dressed up as Father Christmas and gave the girls’ their presents.  Eva got scared

but Emilia found an instant new best friend.

Christmas Day was a treat and the girls enjoyed opening their presents.

Grandma, the trooper that she is, kept her spirits as high as she could.  I knew how terrible she felt and so we looked her after her as best we could.

As soon as Emilia got over the virus she caught Eva’s cold which as always developed into a nasty, heart wrenching cough that disturbed her sleep.  Both twins are fine now and we have all been given the privilege of one whole nights sleep in the 10 days we have been here.

I am sitting in the local pub, drinking a pint of Guinness with my lovely husband sitting across from me.  My Mum is making a re-run of Christmas dinner, one that she will be able to enjoy.  The girls are taking their nap and re-charging their batteries for an afternoon of walking practise.  Eva took her first step yesterday and she wants to walk around all the time now with help.  Emilia is coming on well too!  Grandma and Grandad Brown treated them to their first pair of Clark's shoes yesterday.  They had their feet measured like proper big girls.  One of those milestones that gives me a sense of pure inner joy.
  

Two days left until we go back to Sweden.  I keep trying to imagine what it is going to be like when we get home as the dynamics in my family have changed yet again, leaving me doubting my abilities as a twin Mummy.  But I am determined to live in the now and not let the fears of the future creep in.   The things I worry about never materialise anyway, so what is the point?  

We all got sick

The last 24 hours have been very tough.  Eva was sick first, then Jens and then me :(  Me and Jens are about to attempt a happy meal.  Poor little Eva is not doing too great.

Emilia ill

So much for looking forward to the weekend.  At midnight on Friday Emilia woke up crying so I brought her upstairs thinking she must be hungry.  As I was preparing her bottle she vomited a little bit, but then started crying really hard which is really unlike her.  I picked her up and she started retching again on me and big clumps of sick come up.  The kitchen was quite dark and then clumps looked greeny brown, something that we have been told to look out for.  If Emilia were to get a blockage, this is one of the very serious signs.  I just panicked and shouted down the stairs in my very stern teacher voice that Jens had to come up NOW!!  He came and took Emilia, meaning I could inspect the lumps which turned out to be a mixture of green beans and avocado.  My little Emilia is not chewing her food!  After that she seemed ok, so we gave her the bottle and put her to bed. As always I was worried.

After about 10 minutes she started moaning again and then crying so I picked her up and she projectile vomited about four times before I could get to the bathroom. I think I was a bit in shock and Jens had to say to me about three times, "Paula, go to the bathroom!".  We got there in the end and I managed to get her cleaned up, Jens tackled the bedroom with poor little Eva standing up in bed crying, obviously wondering what was going on! We could not settle Eva. As soon as Jens got close Emilia would be sick again.  It was chaos.  In the end, all four of us ended up in our bed.  Emilia then puked all over it, leaving Jens on baby duty while I changed our sheets.

When that was done, Jens sat with Eva and I lay with Emilia, who every 10 minutes or so kept being sick again.  I felt so sorry for her.  All I could do was sit her up and catch what came up, she kept holding her arms out towards me whilst she was retching.  I felt so helpless.  In the end, Jens brought Eva into our bed and we were back to four in the bed, but Emilia's sick episodes were just too stressful for baby Eva so I took Emilia upstairs to the spare bed.  I kept managing to calm her but then she would sit up and be sick again.  By this time not much was coming up but it was still really scary for my little girl.

At about 3am she was able to get some sleep and at 5 she sat up and just grinned at me.  I fed her and she wasn't sick.  She then went back to sleep for another couple of hours.  She had diarrhea all day yesterday and today, but it does seem to be calming down.  She is eating and drinking so I think we can say she is on the mend.

So me and Jens have spent the weekend doing an insane amount of laundry.  I just managed to get the house clean and at 2pm on Sunday I have had my first shower of the weekend and Jens is in there now.   To round off our ill weekend, Eva woke up with a cold!  But so far no signs of anything else and we feel OK too.  This could have been a lot worse.

We are off to England on Friday and had planned to celebrate Christmas with Jens' Mum and Dad today :( But that will have to wait until another time.