Relaxed

For the first time, for as long as I can remember, Emilia has relaxed on me.  I keep testing having her on my knee for long periods and she almost fell asleep in my arms, nestled into my hair whilst sucking her thumb.  Next Thursday we are flying to England and I am feeling pretty nervous about it.  I am a bad flyer anyway,  but my fear of actually being in a plane has been overtaken by the fear of having my very energetic Emilia on my knee for a plane journey.  How will I keep her occupied? and how are we going to get her to sleep when she is tired?  She only sleeps in her bed or in the pram.  Both of which we won't have.  I know we will get there one way or another, but like all parents I am not looking forward to this plane journey!

The twins have survived their third cold and are back to sleeping all night!  Thankfully!  I have decided to avoid playgroup until after we have been to England.  The second we step foot in that place they get sick!

(I wrote this on Monday, just after I had written it I tested Emilia for a fever and she had one - haha, explaining her calm behaviour.  They had their measles vaccination and it is a side effect from that.  She is now back to her wriggly self!).

Emilia slept

Yes, my baby girl slept the whole night.  She woke up briefly at 10, but Jens managed to soothe her in bed :)  It is now 7.00am and she is still in bed.  Eva has been up for over an hour and is full of energy, currently crawling around my feet like a little puppy.

A puppy is one way to describe the twins but they are more like little crazed zombies.  Sometimes they crawl up me together, grabbing everything in sight making zombi noises.  They are very cute zombies and it is funny to watch.

I am feeling much better, a bit of a sore throat but I think everyone is a bit sick at the moment.  I am just so so so thankful that we all got some well needed sleep :)

Bring on the weekend and the arrival of my Mum and Dad!

Cough

Autumn is here and the new things I was anticipating have slapped me in the face in the form of a very nasty cough.  I am sick, Eva is sick but my little Emilia has been hit the hardest of us all.  I have seen my little princess in some pretty bad states during her short life, but nothing compared to the last three nights.  I saw a Dr yesterday and we were sent to the Emergency Room where she was diagnosed with baby asthma.  We were given some medicine that relaxes her body and helps her breathe more easily.  With retrospect we should have reacted earlier, on the first night at 12.45 I was ready to take her in, but when I called the advice line I was told to give her a warm drink and just to keep comforting her.  So that is what we did.  Jens is with me and is as always my reassuring rock but sometimes only Mummy will do.  This is one of those times and I have never felt more needed by my little warrior.

I have re-invented myself as a living Zombi.  My babies still need food, Eva who slept 12 hours needed me at 6.30 this morning when Emilia, after her exhausting night, crashed into slumber. I was jealous;  I wanted to join her so bad. It think it is something to do with hormones but however bad I feel, I hear her chest rattle and forget myself, I hear her screams and it cuts into me in ways I cannot describe.  Where her pain goes, I go and we will ride this out together.  I am no longer a player in this game just an observer who exists to ease and soothe and make the badness go away.

As always I am thankful for any help available.  Mandy came over and brought lunch for me and the girls (homemade soup - delicious) and Farfar came over to help today.  My Mum and Dad help me look after the twins via video chat and are always helping me to keep my spirits up.  They are coming this weekend and I am longing for their visit.  You see only my Mummy will do when it comes to getting me back on track.  It is just the way it is!  I had my babies in a different country to them and in times of sickness I pay that high price.

I am praying for a night where I can sleep and relax and where my angels can have a peaceful, undisturbed rest.  

Giving blood

Yesterday me and Farfar took the twins into the city, on the bus, to get their passports.  It is the first time I have been on the bus with them and it went really well.  As always they were little angels and I was left feeling very proud of them.  We had anticipated a long wait at the passport office but we were seen straight away and the whole process took no more than 10 minutes.  Like I said, they were little angels and before we knew it me and Claes were standing in the middle of Gothenburg with the sun shining down on us.

I have wanted to give blood since the beginning of the year.  I think you need to wait 6 months after giving birth, but the opportunities for me to actually do it are few and far between these days.   I get really tired after, so looking after my little crawling rugrats afterwards isn't the easiest thing. But Irene was coming over after work and we had about 2 hours before the twins needed lunch, so it felt like the best time to do it.

So as I am waiting I started feeling a little bit scared of the needle (I have given blood lots of times) which then got me thinking about all the times my little ones needed blood, which got me thinking about how much it must have hurt them and how many bags of blood they needed to survive.  I do not know how many but almost every day there was a new bag of blood hanging by their beds.  Then I felt the well inside me start to open and i tried my best to not to cry, I even went into the toilet and told my reflection to pull myself together, but there was just something about being there that brought it all back.  When the Nurse took me into the little room to ask me how my pregnancy had been, I just broke down.  It was only a tiny emotional explosion and I felt a lot better aftwerwards but I was so moved by the whole experience.

Blood doners are heroes and I believe that every healthy person has a duty to give blood.  Oh and when she put the needle in, I hardly felt it :)

Still opposite

Yet another example of how different my twins are.  Here is Emilia eating a sandwich, you would think it was the most precious thing to find its way into her soft little hands:

 Here is Eva eating a sandwich, or should I say, destroying her sandwich:

There is NOTHING the same about them :)

We just spent a weekend at the cabin, it was so lovely to be able to get away.  Unfortunately we forgot the camera, but here are a few pictures from when we were there in July:

Chilling out in the swing:

 

Play time:

Sleep time:

Happiness:

Good times!  The twins are now professional crawlers and our house has never looked so tidy .  I am sure they will be walking soon :)

Feeling it in the air

There is a nip in the air this morning marking the end of summer.  I know that makes most people sad but I love Autumn, it makes me anticipate all the new things on the horizon.  The summer has been so terrible anyway that I am sure it won't be missed too much.  It is difficult to miss what you never had.  I am looking forward to taking long autumn walks with the twins.  For the first time in my life I have the time to really appreciate the nature around me.  I watched summer move in, in what felt like slow motion.  It usually just explodes around me, one day bare trees, the next vibrant green, but this year I watched the buds form.  It was really magical and now I can watch my favourite season work its magic.  I am very much looking forward to seeing the trees around our cabin change.

The twins are doing great.  Eva has a fascination with my eye lashes, touching them makes her squeal with joy.  I get the same reaction if I touch them myself in front of her.  The strangest of things make our little Eva laugh, but getting one of her real belly laughs is one of the best things in the world.  She likes crawling under things too, under the tables and chairs.  But then she kind of gets herself stuck and needs to be saved, it is hilarious.

So as you can see, I have two very busy little girls :)

And a few more!

I could do this all day :)