Things seem to be looking up

We have not needed to use Emilia's feeding tube for her last 6 feeds :)  We are now using a different bottle and it seems to be working much better.  She has also been a lot calmer and has had good quality sleeps during the day.  I feel so relieved :) :)

Here is a picture of Eva cuddling Leicester the second:

Here is Eva sitting up on the sofa with Daddy:

Toni has left

I just took my sister to the airport after her lovely two week visit and I am devastated.  The past weeks have been non-stop baby action, interjected with stolen moments of joke sharing and catching up.  I cannot believe it is all over and that I have no idea when I will see her again :(  Why do I live in Sweden and her in USA, what were we thinking?

Getting to know my giant niece (hehe) has been very special.  I have been showered with smiles, drowned in her teething drool and watched her learn to clap her hands.  I fell in love with her instantly and it has just got stronger and stronger.  I know I should feel happy that I got to meet her but right now all I can think about is how much I am going to miss her.

Eva is now over 5kg and is doing great.  Both the twins have had colds and it affected Eva quite badly to the point where I took her to the hospital.  She has made a full recovery!  She has started to smile a lot more and Jens saw her laugh this morning.  My little Eva is adorable.

Emilia is doing OK.  We were forced to get her another feeding tube as she wasn't putting on enough weight and feeding her was really tough and stressful.  She has also needed oxygen again and when she had her cough and cold she needed quite a lot.  On one of the days her cough was a lot worse so I had to take her to the Dr's.  She is now being sick a lot more too and at times just cannot seem to relax.  It breaks my heart to see her like that.  It really has been non-stop and it is very difficult for me to see light at the end of the tunnel.

I am taking her to the hospital this afternoon to get her feeding tube re-taped and then she is having an appointment with a lung specialist.  It is a routine thing for all babies with extra oxygen.  She is getting her hips checked on Monday and we are hoping so much for an all clear.  Her hip brace just makes caring for her even more stressful for her and us.

Peace

I attended my friends funeral yesterday and it has left me in a state of peace and appreciation.  I still cannot get over the fact that I will never see John again, I liked him so much and it is such a waste of a truly wonderful life.  Seeing so many people devastated really hit home how important family and friends are and how we never really know the extent to which we influence others.  Would John have done the same thing if he had known how special and loved he was?

Me, Jens and our friends and family have spent the last five months fighting for the lives of Emilia and Eva.  I live for my babies and would do anything for them.  It is easily the toughest job I have ever had (and I have had a lot!) but as a parent you fight for the lives of your children.  In a way you put on hold your own life for theirs.  I cannot imagine how his parents must feel and I am so sad for them and for his sister.  I hope they can all find the strength to get through this.

So on Thursday when I pick up my sister who I haven't seen in a year she is going to get the biggest hug ever, as are my Mum and Dad.  I have a new found respect for them as Í now know how hard they worked to raise me and love me.  I am so lucky :)

Oxygen

Emilia has been without extra oxygen for the last two hours :)

Best christmas present

I got the best crimbo present yesterday, Emilia had her best day yet.  She ate well all day/night and hardly cried at all.  She took her first bath without crying too :)  Hooray.

We shared a lovely, cosy Christmas Eva with Farfar and Farmor Lindqvist.  Emilia and Eva seemed really at home in their Granparents' apartment.  They both got a gold heart necklace with their names engraved on one side and their date of birth on the other.  They are such beautiful and thoughtful gifts that they can treasure forever.

Merry Christmas everyone and thank you so much for all your support!

Update

Emilia had her eyes checked yesterday and has been given the all clear :)  Meaning that both laser eye operations were successful.  Emilia and Eva will have a routine check in a couple of months.

As expected, Emilia had barely put on any weight.  She is now 3495, meaning she had only put on 45g in three days :(.  The Nurse thought it was good that her tube was gone and gave us the option of fixing a new one.  We have decided against it and are going to give Emilia a chance to get used to feeding around the clock from a bottle.  It is really frustrating for both her and us, but the feeding tube is only a temporary solution anyway - she has to learn!  I know that she can do it and just needs a bit more time.  Ideally she needs to eat 500ml over a 24hr period and after her next feed she will have reached that goal :) She does seem a lot calmer and she is being sick less.  We will weigh her again next Wednesday so fingers crossed.

Feeding tube

We may have taken away Emilia's feeding tube too soon :(  She is not eating her full amount of food from a bottle and is being sick much more than normal.  We are going to the hospital tommorow for her to be weighed and checked, back on the neonatal ward so we will see what they say.  I really thought she would be able to handle it, but she is so tired and it takes her forever to drink from her bottle and then she is sick :(  Boo hoo.